Why I’m so hard on Mitch Berg and other urban biker weenies

Posted by: Barthélemy Barbancourt

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Some have asked why I ridicule urban bikers so mercilessly. Apart from the fact that 75%+ of them are complete jerks that deserve to die, I also have 2 practical reasons and one philosophical reason to oppose this sweaty band of bicycle seat sniffers.

The first and second reasons are related to safety.  If you have ever spent any time working in body shop you’d know that the best description for our daily commute is a very large game of bumper cars. Each and every day drivers run into other drivers. The vast majority of the time the car is the only thing hurt. This is because the drivers are all wrapped in tons of steel. This daily game is ruled by laws of physics in which mass and momentum are the ultimate arbiters of winners and losers.

After hitting the body shop, stop by your local hospital. They will show you the damage that drivers inflict on each other each and every day. Don’t forget to hit the morgue before you leave. You can see that even when surrounded by tons of steel, drivers regularly hurt, maim and kill each other. Bikes are particularly ill suited to play on this field of battle. They give no protection at all from the inevitable accidents that occur with stunning regularity.

Next we have a design issue. 95+% of the roads in America were designed with cars in mind. If you understand design, you’d know that introducing elements into a system that it wasn’t designed for usually causes problems. A stripe of paint on the road does not create a “bike path”. A true bike path is separated from cars and pedestrians. By mixing bicycles in with cars is a system that was never designed for mixed use, we increase the danger to everyone, but especially the bikers.

(Let me note here that if you want to bike around the lakes or the Soo Line trail, give me a call. I enjoy leisure biking and I think it’s a great hobby.)

Let me rebut a few arguments here. Motorcycles are also dangerous and ill equipped to protect the rider, but Bikes have a massive speed and efficiency advantage over bicycles. I am not an avid motorcyclist in urban areas, but the riders at least can justify the risk with increased efficiency (Another post is needed for this concept)

Finally, the philosophical difference; there is a limited amount of money available for anything in MN or the US (or the world for that matter). The MN transportation budget is already under funded and yet massive portions of it are directed to mass transit and other project that benefit less than 5% of Minnesotans. By pretending that biking is a legitmate and safe transit option, people like Berg give aid and comfort to the Mass Transit/Anti-Car/ Pro-LRT crowd. You don’t see people like Berg supporting snowmobiling or horseback riding to work, both superior options to biking as far as speed and time are concerned.

Jim Oberstar has steered million of federal dollars into bike paths. Much of that money could have been used to expand our over burdened freeway system. Every person that pretends that biking from Minneapolis to Arden Hills in January is a viable option for the sane is contributing to the under-funding of our roads. This is why I refute every claim that biking is more than a hobby because that is all it will every be for 99% of the commuting public in MN.

I’ll try to get another post up on why biking and mass transit are not only anti-American, but bad for our economy. For now, I will continue to point out the stupidity of Urban Bikers and the fools that support them.

Comments (7)add comment
Ed Salden
written by Ed Salden , May 29, 2009

"...75% + of (urban bikers)are jerks that deserve to die."

Nice start on that "friendly dabate" thing, Duce.

Barthélemy Barbancourt
The Truth is always hard to hear for some
written by Il Duce’ , May 29, 2009

The idea is to be nicer to the people that post here. Politicians, celebrities and bikers are still fair game for the abuse that they deserve.

Ed Salden
written by Ed Salden , May 29, 2009

good to know.

written by Larry , May 29, 2009

Yeah, Duke, real sweet sentiments. They deserve to die like pigs.

Motorcycles are serious transportation
written by A.J. , May 29, 2009

But not for going down to the Home Depot to pick up a sheet of plywood. As an avid motorcylist, I accept and understand the considerable risks. I have developed razor-sharp reflexes and a sixth sense of what the guy in the car at that next corner might do. The biggest difference between my motorcycle and my bicycle, is that on roads shared with cars, one of them allows me to easily keep up with their pace. In fact the average MC has a major power-to-weight advantage over most cars. That allows for quick acceleration out of harms way.

Long term survival on two wheels in a four-wheel world requires that you respect the right of way of others and that in any contact you are at substantial risk - and it is YOUR responsibility to avoid it. Because I have learned this through hundreds of thousands of motorcycle miles, when I get on my bicycle, I make damn sure I stay out of the way of car traffic.

The weenies are the ones who refuse to learn this basic ettiquette rule of the road. The bicyclist insisting on taking up a full lane on a 45MPH boulevard is no less an obnoxious idiot than the guy that obstructs the flow of traffic by sitting in the left lane of the freeway at 20MPH slower than the rest of traffic. Critical Mass is nothing more than organized disrespectful obnoxiousness. And that is putting it as politely as I can.

Barthélemy Barbancourt
The one that cut me off last night does.
written by Il Duce’ , May 29, 2009

A woman shot right in front of the Jeep as I was making a left turn. She gave me a dirty look after I had to hit the brakes to avoid hitting her.

I did enjoy watching a Critical Masshole wipe out in the middle of University Avenue. Sadly there was no large truck approaching to finish what he started. He just ruined his bike and bled a little bit.

Watch Mitch hyperventilate.
written by K-Rod , May 29, 2009

Its very easy, just point out the "save mother earth from MMGW" wing nuts that say "bike to work to save mother earth"... and the fact that bicycling is nothing more than a dangerous hobby that can be used to excersize. Once you get him started he just can't stop himself. Someone get him a paperbag.


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