A morning in the life of an average American.

Posted by: Barthélemy Barbancourt

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The average American wakes up dry, warm bed in a temperature controlled home that he owns. He gets up and showers in hot and cold running drinking water and thinks nothing of what happens to the water as it heads down the drain. He then walks into his closet and picks from a wide variety of shirts, pants, shoes, socks and underwear all clean from the washer and dryer in his home. He then heads down to the kitchen to the refrigerator to have some fresh cold Wisconsin milk with his Columbian coffee and Brazilian banana.

After breakfast he goes out to his heated garage and drives his late model automobile on paved roads to work. He walks from his car to his climate controlled office, sits down in front of his flat panel monitor docked to his laptop and accesses the internet.

The top story of the day is about Hugh Hefner and his three 20 something girlfriends and his first words of the day are “My life sucks!”

Bart's Notes: I assume you see where I am going here. What am I missing? What would add more punch to this piece? Should I try to calculate how far up the food chain the Average American is? Would it more interesting if I made the guy me and added some personal details?

 

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Barthélemy Barbancourt
With stats
written by Barthélemy Barbancourt , September 29, 2011

The average American wakes up dry, warm bed in a temperature controlled home that he owns (only 42% of Germans own their home). He gets up and showers in hot and cold running drinking water (884 million people are without access to an improved water source) and thinks nothing of what happens to the water as it heads down the drain. He then walks into his closet and picks from a wide variety of shirts, pants, shoes, socks and underwear all clean from the washer and dryer in his home. He then heads down to the kitchen to the refrigerator to have some fresh cold Wisconsin milk with his Columbian coffee and Brazilian banana. (On October 11, 2010, it was reported that the number of malnourished people in the world exceeded 1 billion people,[1] about a sixth of the world's total population.)

After breakfast he goes out to his heated garage and drives his late model automobile (The United States has 828 vehicles per 1,000 people, China has 37, India 15 and Bangladesh has 2 vehicles per 1,000 people) on paved roads to work. He walks from his car to his climate controlled office, sits down in front of his flat panel monitor docked to his laptop and accesses the internet. (Only 30% of the world has access to the internet)

The top story of the day is about Hugh Hefner and his three 20 something girlfriends and the Average American male compares his life to Hef's and actually says “My life sucks!”

(Ending Editted)



Nobody
...
written by Nobody , September 29, 2011

Sorry, I don't get it. Hef as a whiner?


Barthélemy Barbancourt
I guess my humor is lost
written by Barthélemy Barbancourt , September 29, 2011

I was going to add more speed bumps like being out of organic cottage cheese, being stuck in traffic and hating work.

The idea was to show that it is amazingly easy to take major things for granted like clean water and a safe home. We also end up comparing our lives to some insanely out of reach lifestyle life the Housewives of Beverly Hills or a guy that sleeps with 3 hot women every night.

I knew I had missed the mark, I'll re-write it. There is a much harder flip side to be written that it is nearly impossible to be continually grateful for things you've had for a while time.

I thought my first apartment was pretty cool and now I'd hate to live there. There are also a few cars I have owned that I'm glad I'm not driving today.




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